Right now most of the electronic music industry are over in Miami, sunning themselves up and enjoying the very best music from some of the world’s greatest DJs. Lucky them! As anyone who’s been to Miami will notice, the city has a very sleazy side to it – from the mega-boobed groupies at events, to the seedy bars and strip joints dotted around the city. We decided to enlist the assistance of Jesse Perez, a superb artist and, as someone who’s lived in the city all his life, the perfect candidate to present an alternative guide to Miami… the sleazy side. From motels to strip joints, it’s all here.

Motels and hotels on SW 8th Street Miami:

SW 8th Street is THE spot for seedy motels – the kind of places you can take a casual partner for a one-night stand. They’re cheap and tacky, perfect!

Executive Tropic Garden Hotel
6925 SW 8th St, Miami, FL 33144
Room Rates- Basic Room – $40 (2 Hours)
Love Suite with Jacuzzi and Bar- $80 (3 Hours)
Overnight Rates around $100 (Per Night)
4 Stars
Notes: Cleanest rooms in the motel district. Expect waiting lines on the weekend between 11pm and 1am.

Executive

Tamiami Inn
4391 SW 8th St, Miami, FL 33134
Room Rates – Basic Room $30 (2 Hours)
Overnight Rate – $70-$80 (Per Night)
2 Stars
Notes: Like most motels on 8th Street, Tamiami Inn offers free adult channels in every room. Keeping true to it’s original design, nothing in this place has been upgraded since the nineties….

TamiamiInn

Stardust Motel
4525 SW 8th St, Coral Gables, FL 33134
Room Rates – Basic Room $30 (2 Hours)
Room with Jacuzzui – $50 (2 Hours)
Overnight Rate – $80-$90
2 Stars
Notes: This motel does cater to the night crowd, they have rooms w.whirlpools and rooms for 4 hours only…you do the math. If you stay all night it’s only five bucks extra an hour after 11am

StardustMotel

Jamaica Motel
4601 SW 8th St, Coral Gables, FL 33134
Room Rates – $30 (2 Hours)
Room with Jacuzzi – $40 (2 Hours)
Overnight Rate – $75 (Per Night)
2 Stars
Notes: This is probably the most popular motel on 8th street, old people know about this place just as much as the younger generation. The Vibrating Bed in Room 5 is the best!

Jamaica

Strip Clubs:

Another thing Miami has an abundance of is strip clubs. Girls come here from all over the States and the rest of the world to cash in on their good looks (or not so good looks), there’s money here in Miami and these ladies know how to get it.

King Of Diamonds aka K.O.D
17800 NE 5th Ave, Miami, FL 33162
If you have the dough to “Make It Rain”and admire video vixens… then K.O.D on Monday nights is for you. This is a notorious hangout for rap artist and industry peeps. Last year I ended up at Diddy’s mansion and I’m sure more than a few of the girls there were K.O.D dancers.

KOD

Showgirls Inc.
19995 S Dixie Hwy, Miami, FL 33157
Love this place! It’s a Cutler Ridge landmark. After the armageddon happens this place will still be standing. Cool staff, cool dancers. Reasonable prices on drinks. If you’re coming from South Beach this is about a 50 minute drive south.

ShowgirlsInc


Tootsies Cabaret

Miami Gardens Office Center, 150 NW 183rd St, FL 33169
This place is one in a million, great food and great dancers. Try the lemon pepper wings and get a lapdance from Porscha, Sky, or Sydney for dessert. You won’t regret it.

Tootsies

Scarlets
2920 SW 30th Avenue, Pembroke Park, FL 33009
Not your average strip joint, this place actually is entertaining. The dancers are hot and put on great shows. The only downside is the cost of drinks. $10 for a domestic bottle of beer, mixed drinks around $16. But you’re probably paying the same or more in South Beach anyway, so why not?!

Scarlets