In terms of other things that are going on in your life. I saw that you posted very intimately on Facebook and said that you had been experiencing some mental and physical illness issues. I think in our modern culture we are on social media all the time and a lot of that has been became about finding validation and in that way we tend to highlight our successes. I find it very refreshing when someone who is very successful also highlights that element of life which is the struggle. So how do you deal with that struggle as you gain success and fight resistance to do your work and keep going and move forward in your art?
Honestly, its definitely a very interesting subject. I wouldn’t want to generalize because everyone experiences these hardships of anxiety and stress and when they really strike deep it can feel like you can’t relate to anyone I guess. I know what that’s like and to know that I wasn’t alone was really helpful. To know that I wasn’t the one going crazy. When you’re really in the thick of deep stress and anxiety and you’re having panic attacks you can question everything. I think we are entering a time where a lot of people are coming out about these things. That is making me question the bigger picture and the prevalence of people coming about depression and anxiety. It definitely lends itself to the larger cultural question: what is going on?
Yes. It certainly does. As an artist myself I, too, struggle with this type of anxiety and uncertainty. What are some healthy habits you’ve developed that help you combat those anxious voices in your head and have a more positive outlook on your life and your work?
For me it was really confusing because I was the kid in high school who was always very carefree and relaxed. I didn’t have anxiety issues when applying to college, so I thought I must be pretty chill. Then when I started to have these anxiety problems I thought “Holy Shit, am I now an anxious person?” I couldn’t get rid of it. It became a chronic thing. I wondered if I was going crazy. I wanted to learn about my brain and understand what was going on. I am not really a partier, so I was confused: I wasn’t using substances and things are generally good in my career, so whats going on? I went to a nutritionist and started doing all these tests — blood tests and saliva tests. I found out I wasn’t eating very well so I started eating better and taking vitamins regularly and that was really great. One of the tests that really concerned my nutritionist was that I was experiencing very intense adrenal fatigue. I was 22 and my doctor only normally saw this in patients over 50. I was super lucky to learn about this because, basically, my body was no longer producing cortisol which allowed me to cope with stressful situations. The solution was to slow down on traveling and regulate my sleep cycle.
Last year I toured the hardest I had ever toured. I was doing two to three shows every week while I was finishing up the album. I would get back on a Sunday night and stay up until 6 in the morning finishing the album. I really wanted to just get it done and give it my all. And I wanted to keep learning, so I was taking piano lessons and singing lessons. I was just not running on a sustainable schedule. Slowing down on touring was what I needed and it helped me dial into that physical component of what I was dealing with I think it was good early on that I worked so hard and so fanatically. It was definitely a really great force to have. Work ethic can be the most powerful force if you’re interested in music. The question became, how can I harness my productivity in a way that is also healthy? More recently, I’ve been trying to wake up at generally the same time every day and get to sleep before the sun starts rising. These are baby steps which have been really beneficial for me.
The the mental and psychological components are even more difficult areas to tackle because they are much less tangible. I think I am getting a lot closer coming to terms with what I was going through and I’m already gaining a lot of insights to my personal experience. I just need time for the dust to settle a little bit in order to talk about it
It’s really good to hear you are starting to understand that. Thank you for being so open with us. What festival experiences may have helped you dial into that more psychological component of your journey?
I’ve had some really surreal festival experiences as a Dj. Last year at the dirty bird campout I played a song with Josh and Ben called “Climbing Trees”, which is now out on our album. We’ve all talked about it since, we had never experienced anything like it. The song is about innocence and childhood. There is a hook that goes “when is the last time that you climbed a tree?” and it’s a very nostalgic feeling song. Playing it in the context of Dirtybird Campout we all got the craziest goosebumps. It was exactly what the Silverado campgrounds felt like in that moment. Another time at Desert Hearts I played Amê’s private edit of “Diamonds” by Paul Simon and it was 3 or 4 pm on the third day of festival. Everyone was really tired. It was just this beautiful moment, everyone was just smiling, and It felt so right. It’s pretty surreal to be in the position to play such a special song like that.
As a fan I’ve been going to festivals since I was like 16. First, it was Insomniac raves in LA. I was the kid who would fight my way up to the barricade and stay there for hours to just get lost in the music. I was so captivated and enamored by the music. I’m really honored and humbled to be a part of creating that now. I’m just grateful that the culture is still really magical. I don’t take that for granted.
How do you think the culture has grown in the last 5 years? For example Insomniac is so incredibly huge now. It really has grown and changed and there is this really awake energy at a lot of these festivals, especially the camping ones, at least that I have noticed. How do you feel about that? How do you think it will continue to grow in the next few years?
How did you characterize the energy? What did you say it was?
Awake. I just find it very awake. People are interested in engaging and having interesting conversations. There are also a lot of festivals like Symbiosis and Lighting in a Bottle which have mentality and mindfulness workshops in addition to the music. Dirty bird involved a lot of campground games and activities which force you to engage with people on a level beyond just dancing. How do you think this environment will continue to grow?
This is why festival culture is the dopest thing ever. I love the one stage concept at both Desert Hearts and Dirtybird campout. I went to LIB for the first time back in May and that was an incredible experience. The Do Lab is just an amazing organization. I have no idea how it will grow. I think it is so amazing that is growing and I trust the people who are at the helm of that sort of experience. Honestly, I’m pretty captivated by house party at the moment. A lot of kids, they go through college and all they do is frat party or what not and then they finish and they want novelty. I spent the last 7 or 8 years going to festivals, warehouse parties, nightclubs — and unlike the frat party thing which isn’t sustainable, I still enjoy going to all of these types of events. Personally, as a Dj, I’m captivated by the intimacy of the house parties. It’s the same thing as these boutique festivals because it’s about intimacy. You can actually have conversations with people and you can interact with people.
You’ve been throwing a lot of your own house parties here in Los Angeles. What this is the vibe you are trying to curate through these events?
I first started throwing house parties in the college environment last year. My friend Ulf, who is an artist on Fantastic Voyage the label and a collaborator on the album, threw this party where he started playing all this really cool underground minimal music. There was something special about Ulf’s energy as a DJ, he really made it fun. It wasn’t snobby and it wasn’t overly hip— it was just cool music. I was really interested in a space where I could play all the the underground music that was too weird for the big festivals and big nightclubs; but, I also wanted a place where I felt free to play the cheesy goofy fun songs that were too feel good and cheesy for a cool hipster warehouse party. I wanted a place where everyone wasn’t so serious, like at the warehouse parties, and everyone was just smiling. That’s what I love about a house party. As a DJ you can’t beat it. It’s the best: it’s small, it’s intimate, you can play whatever you want, you can high five the person at the front of the dance floor, you may have someone spill beer on the turntables and the power might go out but when that shit happens and the power comes back on you don’t take it for granted. It’s kind of a response to me slowing down on traveling, but not giving up on my love of Dj-ing and playing music.
How did you bring that same kind of energy and intimacy to your live set-up at dirtybird? I definitely got that— those good vibes, all the smiles. The crowd was so happy during that set. How do you bring that to a festival as well as a house party?
I definitely don’t think about it. I cancelled all of my gigs through the end of the year except for dirty bird campout. Music is super therapeutic and being able to just get out of my head for a little bit and listen to some music and dance — even if I am the one behind the decks — Dude, I don’t take that for granted. I just try my best to perform. There is no deeper secret.
So you don’t do anything different for a house party or a festival set? You keep that same level of intimacy and then just play for a bigger crowd?
The coolest thing about the house parties is that I will learn how to play some of the songs I was too timid to play at a club or at a festival. Once I’ve learned how to play them the right way I can start playing them at bigger shows and make them work. There is a technical component to playing a weird song. You have to do it so people don’t even know that all of a sudden they’re like in this weird parallel dimension. It’s liberating. Because I have been going through so many shenanigans I feel like I just don’t have that much to lose anymore. I’ve been taking a lot of risks. But, I still get nervous about taking risks so I’m not sure if I can talk about that too confidently.
I think that is completely human and that everyone gets really nervous taking risks and I congratulate you for taking them because that’s awesome. That’s where good music that is so unique comes from and I think that that’s what you have done with your new label.
Aw. Thanks.
Speaking of, what can we expect from you in the next few months with this new label Fantastic Voyages?
There’s a lot. No traveling. No gigs. My goal isn’t to be a label head or grow it into something like Dirtybird. I still want to get my own songs signed to Dirtybird and this is not a statement against it. Two reasons for starting this label. One, me and a bunch of my friends had all this music that no other respectable label wanted. (laughter) We didn’t take it too personally. We thought the music was good and just wanted to get it out. A lot of labels said no because it just has too many samples, which is fair, or it had too much singing, that’s fair. This is just music we really really believe in and it didn’t have a good fit anywhere else. I think the sprit of it is in these house parties. These are the songs that work great in our house parties and we see it and so, yes, we believe in them, even if they sound kind of cheesy or silly. These three songs are some of the happiest songs I’ve ever heard and I’ve just played them so much. They are so special to me.
If people do want to go to and find your house parties in LA is there a way to do that?
They have to follow me on Facebook and get on a secret email list. If they just follow my Facebook page sooner or later they will get lucky to find one. You have to stay on your toes because when I throw a house party I let people know the night of. Otherwise, they just get too big and this way it’s more exciting for everyone.